Getting my way.

Went out with Dylan for that drink the other night, was a little weird being out of the work place talking to him. But I think it went well I didn't make myself look like a total idiot, stayed on single vodka and cokes as it takes a lot of them to get me drunk. I can't remember how long it was we spent in the pub together but it was great I started feeling like a normal person dating even though these drinks weren't mean to be a date, they were meant to be drinks between work colleagues.

After we left the pub, I turned to walk in the direction to my house when I felt his hand touch my shoulder, in his soft spoken way he asked if I wanted to share a taxi as he wanted to make sure I got home ok and he wouldn't have to worry if I didn't turn up to work this week. So we shared a taxi home together, I paid my part in the fare and said goodnight, but after getting through my door I felt stupid because I never invited him in for a brew but then again how would I explain to my parents who Dylan was??

I've also been hanging round with friends with my new look which they all love and say it's definitely more me! I'm feeling great about myself and feeling free. Just need to find myself a flat or house and I will have my freedom more.

Spoken.

Work has been great so far this week.

 I walked in on Monday happy as larry, only downfall was I couldn't see Dylan anywhere and I really wanted to see if he noticed my new hair style and we could start getting to know each other.
As the morning went on still no sign of him and I was starting to give up on the fact that he was going to be in today and that I would actually have the courage to talk to him by the time I saw him. It reached dinner time and there he appeared in the door way of the photocopying room, his hair was strightened and combed perfectly, not even one strand of hair out of place. He glanced over at me standing there with an arm full of photocopying to do with a smile on his face and what do I go and do drop everything!! Beetroot red I bent down scooping all the paper up from around me scared of looking up incase Dylan was there laughing at me.

After about a mintue appeared a hand which made me hope it was Dylan so I looked up and to my disappointment it wasn't him just the post room guy, not sure of his name but he's scruffy looking and is really hard to understand when you talk to him because all he does is mubble. But I was polite and said thank you to him. After that I tried to avoid Dylan for the rest of the day so I didn't make a tit out of myself anymore, god knows what he he thought of me though.

Tuesday, was the best day to be honest because I spoke to Dylan, only thing was it wasn't out of choice, there was a problem with one of the photocopying machines and he was the only other person in the room with me so I had to ask him who is it I had to call to get it fixed because I needed to get this work done asap (As Soon As Possible) as it was for a very important client. When I took a breath to speak it felt like I wasn't going to be able to string a sentance together but I managed it without looking like an idoit yet again. lol. But luckly he was very helpful and let me use the copier he was using to get my work done as he went and phoned an engineer out for me.

I now need to thank him because I don't feel just saying thank you was enough yesterday.

So, today I said thank you again to him and asked if he would like to get a drink after work one night and he agreed that we needed to have a drinkn to get to know each other.  Which is now very exciting for me because it's the first time I have ever asked a guy out for a drink or even thought about asking someone as cute as Dylan out for a drink!

Things to achieve:

• . Find somewhere to live
• Stand up to my Mum.
• Talk to Dylan.
• Get a new look for myself.
• Get ears pierced.
• Go out with friends and show my new style off.
• Prepare for drinks with Dylan (i.e things to talk about)

New Style.

Yesterday, I went shopping in Manchester to start changing my style and start showing my personality instead of letting my mum dress me. I know I should of been doing this before now but I wanted to be the perfect daughter and do what I was told.

I have bought some really nice stuff, ok you can tell that I listen to rock and metal music now instead of classical, lol. Yes, my mum was dressing me like an old person and it wasn't fun when I was in school because people would make fun and I felt alone and helpless. But here's some pictures of the items I have bought online today already!

 

I really can't wait for them to arrive in the post on Monday! I'm really excited that I can now start expressing myself in what I wear because it's coming out of my own back packet and not my parents. Before, when I wanted new clothes my mum would come shopping with me and would yell at me if I even looked at things like this. She would mainly say 'What man would like a girl wearing that tat, you will look like a tramp in that!' Which deep down hurt as she was basically saying I would look like a prostitute, even though I know men wouldn't see me like that.

Her face was a picture yesterday when I came home with skinny jeans, mini skirts, converse and make-up. I could see she wasn't happy what so ever but she couldn't say much as it is my own money that have paid for it plus I had my hair cut whilst in Manchester. I went from long one length style to something shorter and more layers. The Pictures below or not of me but they are examples of what a change I have gone for plus my hair colour is a light brown not blonde.



 

Not me.



Also not me.



I'm starting to feel good about myself now and starting to feel like a normal teenager, specially with the fact my mum doesn't agree with the change. The thing that shocked me the most is my dad is now supporting me in the change, he said to me last night that it was about time I started to rebel, the only thing he wanted to make sure I didn't rebel against was his house rules and that I would still do my chores round the house. Lol. I think hes worrying that I am going to change into a whole different person and someone he doesn't know but the truth is I am not going to change my personality, I'm just going to show it abit more and I will still do my chores around the house because no one likes living like a slob.

Things to achieve:

• Find somewhere to live.
• Stand up to my Mum.
• Talk to Dylan.
• Get a new look for myself.
• Get ears pierced.
• Go out with friends and show my new style off.

Right, I best get ready and head to work and cross off one more thing off my list, yes today I am going to talk to Dylan, which is quite a daunting thing for me, I don't know how to talk to a guy that isn't my dad.

Wish me luck!!

Busy Week.

Sorry haven't blogged anything for a week, been rather busy trying to get some freedom.

Well I finally got a job to earn my own money and save to move out from here and have my own space. It's working in a small office filing and photocopying for the staff it's rather easy and a start of a career, even if it isn't what I wanted to do in the first place but it is something that will pay the bills when living on my own.

I'm quite excited in living on my own as well as slightly scared but I know it's what I need. Found a few places I wouldn't mind looking at there's one in particular it's a period home down a quite private lane and I am totally in love with it, if only I could afford the price tag a month. Here's a picture of it:

And this costs £700 per calender month and this is why a young person like myself looking to move in on her own would not be able to afford it but it would be a place I would love to own one day.

The more realistic sort of house I would be able to afford at this moment in time is something in the town centre or near by. Here's some pictures of a house I  have seen:

 

As you see it's not the nicest of properties that someone could live in, the kitchen is hideous, BUT sadly that is what I may have to start myself off with.

Anyway, enough about homes my new job is amazing, well one of my colleague is amazing, he is really nice, caring and easy to talk to. Oh and very good looking, I feel happy that I have some eye candy while I'm at work but to be honest I may try and get to know him before I get anymore attracted to him. Last thing I want is to get attracted to him then realise he is a complete and utter twat! Mind my language. Lol.

I'm already touching the freedom with my finger tips because it's at arm reach, to be honest it's always has been but I've been too afriad to to reach and achieve it before now. I have made the decision it is now actually going to happen, no matter who or what it takes, I will not let anything stop me know.

That includes my parents, I need to start standing up them and learn never to back down in an argument and not be the perfect daughter they have always wanted because no teenager is perfect and every parent should know that. I need to show my personality a little bit more through my clothing and how I act instead of pretending.

Things to achieve this next week:

• Find somewhere to live.
• Stand up to my Mum.
• Talk to Dylan.
• Get a new look for myself.

Introduction

I'm new to all this online blogging but to tell you the truth I think its better than keeping a dairy in your bedroom with people snooping for example my mum.

Anyways, my names Lucy and I'm 18 living a life as a normal teenager or am I? I don't feel like I am like everyone else my own age. You ask why? Well mainly because I've never tired drugs, never been out under aged drinking and the most embarrassing thing is I've never had sex let alone even seen a boy naked, well not in person.

I feel like I'm missing out on it all but is it really apart of teenage life sex, drink and drugs? I would love to have sex with someone but never found the right one or is that even possible? I have so many questions about it but there isn't anyone I can really talk to. My mum won't talk to me about it, she's scared she'll be loosing her little girl, I know most parents are like that but mine are the most over protective parents anyone I know have ever met.

My mum won't even allow me to have my own front door key, she has to know where I am going what time I will be there to and from and how am I getting home. It's starting to annoy me because I see all my friends moving out into there own place and having freedom but then again they have had freedom alot longer than I have.

I think it's about time I stand up for myself and start living my life starting NOW!!